March 28, 2010

a manic friday night of poetry beer & dive bars!


this weekend everything that i needed to happen did not and everything that did was a melancholy mess. i think though in my normal writing stance during a manic episode sitting at a bar, i wrote this next poem and realized maybe what the title of the next poetry book should be: A Love Song for an Inked Doll!

there is this feeling i cannot shake tonight
i know this one so well having been here before
so much conflicting emotions in me
go here, go there and i can see how the field plays
it is nights like these that are so tough to get through but so worth the reflection tomorrow
i am sorry to always take you down this path my friend (to self)
yet i sometimes cannot choose any other path to walk
at least we have done it before and we know how this ends
no fear - i am yours till the bitter end and we can see a field of games and play
you are my endeavor in perpetuity and i love you like no other can, will or ever seems to want too
i knew after some fucked up words i needed to get drunk
this is the eventual end of a manic session
words words words just flow like a river created from the rain
i wonder, this bar stool is it a place we can remember each other
is it a place you remember that we can love each other
i just want to know there may be a chance tomorrow
next week . . . any time, any time is there just five minutes we can spend
i want to tell you all that i am
i want to hear all that you are
we cannot do it in five minutes but will you give it to me
we must start somewhere
you can absolutely think you are going no where and then "bam!"
you are where you need to be and your world is complete with a pearl
love me beautiful . i can be your pearl in this crazy turbulent life of pain and anguish
i can be so much more than you can imagine
if you let me
will you let me love you like i dream of
like i know you need me too
there is no end to the way i can express this
which means there is no end to how i can love you
just take that step forward and you will
embrace what you have always wanted
what you have never experienced, that which you crave
let me love you beautiful
this night, where you are not here
is a night i cannot forget
and wish i can remember
i wish you were here
not for an outcome but because i want to remember how to love
i want to know how you respond to love
i want to celebrate your soul
and kiss your smile love
your beautiful smile surrounded by red and those mystery pool eyes
i can be lost in those gorgeous eyes for forever and a day

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