November 10, 2010

a beer and a bottle of Jamesons

this melancholy is like a weight
unshakable in its origin
definable in its reality
i am wrapped with guilt
for all the things i never said
for all the things i never did
i guess i am a good catholic
this is not my faith and i am not irish either
yet its this latent depression
i feel creeping all around me
these weeks of nothing right
in a time of greyscale skies
when the temperature should speed
up my brain function
i keep thinking of killing brain cells
with a beer and a bottle of Jamesons
its not that i can say i miss something
that was not there
its that i feel guilty
for all the things i never did
for all the things i never said
now there is not time
there is no space where i can begin
i left it late in my selfish way
now there is no time
no space where i can begin
its not that i am going to miss you
its that i feel guilty
for all the things i never did
for all the things i never said
maybe a beer and a bottle of Jamesons
is a good start
i am not a good catholic like you
i am ready for this to end
i am ready for this to begin
i am already hurting

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