August 11, 2011

the end is important


though the way may be blocked, there are times that we must persevere beyond what we can see or imagine we are capable of.

i sometimes want that which i cannot seem to find in anyone out side of myself. this thought is not the beginning but rather the end of a dream we must dream.

August 5, 2011

your summer lips like joy


your summer lips like joy and perfection my dear if you will but listen to my perfect words that sing this melodic song for only you.

i think of your ink on soft skin and how the light lays upon it in shadows we both delight to taste your luscious skin like lips that taste of sweet strawberry joy.

August 3, 2011

the breaking of norms like hymen


i have always been a trendsetter in many ways, going against the norm at whim and when everyone tells me to conform.

till i stand alone with everyone clamoring to be like me.

my ipov erotica is a line in the sand to take what you the square population will always call porn and create something beautiful from it.

that is called art, and very soon i will experiment with a male and two females...we shall see if there truly is beauty in my erotic art.

July 14, 2011

as amazingly as you


i am all sorts of broken . my soul cannot fall in love when it is shattered. i am not worth your love . i do not deserve your feelings . don't love me . don't fall in love with me!

love what we do . love the moments we share sweetie . know i love you for the world you give me . the way you fit into my life . you are amazingly wonderful to me . i only hope, when i am whole, i find someone who treats me half as amazing as you!

July 11, 2011

sublime love waiting


in courtesy and gratitude, i see the cobblestone lit by moonlight where a moment earlier it was dark and sultry. it glistened wet from the mist of lust as my sullen heart knew only the joys of a singular self absorbed poet on a walk. the air sat whimsical like it wished the moment had not passed us by, or that as you walked away, the click of your heels matched the beating of my heart. your hand on my lip and the soft whisper of sublime love waiting, till there the light danced of moisture on this poets walk to remember.

July 8, 2011

you make sex sexy


after all, you promised bliss and that was what i felt for hours upon hours as you found all the ways to pleasure me.

with touch, your breath and lips pressed to my labia, my nipples hard and cum dripping on my thigh; you make sex sexy and i have found how bliss feels upon my nerves as every neuron fires to the pulse of your breath.

July 7, 2011

One night… one hit… Addicted by Angel


The click of the shutter was reminiscent of the slapping sounds of wet flesh; sex on hardwood, sticky summers in the front seat of the truck, being thrown against the wall in a sense of urgency that never abated. The absinthe burned a trail through my veins. Everything was numb… everything that wasn’t important. All thoughts had become fuzzy, nothing really mattered. Nothing but the sensations, the pleasure, the fact that for one brief moment you loved me. I could feel your fingers slide along my skin. You opened me in ways I’d never been touched, positioning me for maximum effect.

Pure bliss rained from every inch of my body in the form of sweat and cum. I lost count… Did I ever stop cumming? One moment crashed into the next, one orgasm chased another. ‘round and ‘round my brain… what brain, it was all nerves, skin on skin, skin on sheets, just skin. Thought had ceased to matter… all I could feel was you. You and the pleasure and the love. Too soon it was over.

The oxygen isn’t enough to sustain the functioning of my soul. I can’t think. I can’t feel. I live in your film. I exist to be part of you. Loved by you. This shell that walks around… sending sneaky pictures of flashes of cunt under a desk. Driving down the road in ecstasy to get the briefest taste of that night.

I can’t stop thinking about making love to your film. Writhing in the agony of the thought of not being good enough. Begging for your approval in every breath, every veiled glance. Every orgasm writing our passion in the heavens. I exist for that sex, the illusion that you love me. Was I good enough? You were amazing! Spending my days plotting, my nights reliving the vividness of memory. I wake up in a cold sweat, alone. I’m a junkie. I want more. I need it with every burning fiber of my being.

One night… one hit… Addicted.

July 6, 2011

the origin of ipov erotica


i wanted to do this with you. i wanted you to help me create something profound. some piece of art that cascaded your world into mine, that made the masses squirm.

something that made you squirm with pleasure. captured our emo together. i wanted this to be our lasting impression on culture, to blur the line between art and porn. my erotica, your emotions. it is always art when you start with the heart and express everything from there.

June 30, 2011

your accent is intoxicating


this night had a perfect moment in it where i was in rare form like pulling a rabbit out of my hat. i was sucking on a cancer stick and watching this threesome, a guy and two ladies. the guy came up to bum a light and i smiled, pointed at the gal sitting closest to me and said to him, "only if she comes and asks." he asked her to come over and i lit her cigarette, not his. she then monkey fucked his and lit it. i later went and sat with them to chat. her name was marie, a scrumptious little french doll, cigarette sucking art loving accent and all...

June 20, 2011

my maurading love for you


the cruelest part of a futbol match is after all the beers, the drunk singing and the joy of spanking a team from New York, a tie is just the same as a loss, especially when the tieing goal comes on the final blow of the whistle. it is worse when this is the second home match in a row decided on the final play.

futbol is like my creation of art and my interaction with women. it is an up and down affair that has deep moments of marauding love and cruel heartbreak all at the same time. the pitch is a canvas of pure delight like a blank canvas or a delicious doll whose skin is full of traceable ink. i know my fetishes will bring about my demise if i am not careful. i lead with my heart and see the good where even you cannot accept. it is emo psychology as the lads sing us on to victory.

June 19, 2011

yes please, may i have some more


your eyes scream
of deep melancholy
housed in the shell
of smirk y joy
unbridled by loss
i keep seeking redemption
in the worst possible choices
knowing that i'll find
the circle of mania
leads me to find
my face in the gutter
staring up
at another pair
of boots and fishnets
walking away
its more than a little
funny
how could i am
at getting back up
on the horse
though looking back
looking forward
i see choices
made from a naive
belief
someday
you will walk through the door
remind me
the joy of being me
the greatness in me
be content
to fuck all night
stand by my side
talking all manner of gibberish
or just sit on the couch
in the corner of the studio
sipping whiskey
drinking coffee
watching me create
my legacy
for you

June 17, 2011

floating the drugs to end the emo


woke up in the best of moods
for this week
a simpletons smile
at the expense
of some much caffeine
i was humming
then i crashed
in a not so grand flourish
the mental game of emo
is best a measure
of drugs and sex
we all enjoy
time whispers joys
i mostly do not remember
of days gone bye
i forget by exaggeration
i am on my own
here
plodding through
the strife they call
existential
the point i realize
is to get up tomorrow

June 16, 2011

in case it's not obvious, i'm old fashioned in a novel way


i was sitting on the steps in the sun this evening thinking about the warmth. thinking about the only time i ever asked a woman to marry me and thinking about what it might be like if i find myself in a situation where someone loved me enough to stick around. i have been feeling a wee bit lonely of late and very isolated because i work alot, drink alone in dive bars, and spend all my free time with my daughter.

it isn't really a sad thing that the woman i asked to marry me said no, nor was it a loss on my part or hers to not follow through with it. she is happily married and has two kids. it sent me to LA for grad school and into the life i have now. it is sad that i have never felt that there was someone worth spending my life with sense then. it's a part of my dream, it's a part of my salvation when she finds me and sticks around.

June 14, 2011

you and me should run for the sun


i like that you like
i want to know what you are
see how you do
help what you say
you make me swoon
with your smile
the way you talk
i can tell you are not in awe
of me
i may be of you
after tomorrow
with all that color
in your murky eyes
you and i
should run for the sun
pack the jet
for a perfect vacation
we could head to the coast
or go east
in search of the sun
you and me
with the little feet
soaking up each other
after tomorrow
with all that color
you should call me
to just say yes

June 12, 2011

your choice is not a mistake if you see it through


all choices are based on hopes and dreams with consequences we may know or fathom we can handle. i had a friday night of rock star proportions as i celebrated the start of a dream being fulfilled and trying to keep the emo at bay. i would say i am a mess but i was drunk the entire night on friday and most of saturday night after two gutting losses.

the one bright spot of this roller coaster is a romantic late lunch date that almost never happened when the rose parade and my stupid brain made what was going to be perfect almost nothing at all. when i finally made it to the park i could not shake my emo and i could almost taste yours. yet still our words kept falling all around us and it just feels natural to be there in this old fashioned way we are walking. i didn't know what to do when that little blond inferred we were a couple. i smiled an awkward smile, wondering if it was the association of us in the park with a little man or something about the way we carried each other.

it was shorter than we both may have wanted but i didn't know how to ask. as we hugged and your cute little man gave me more knuckles, i danced a little down the street till i mounted the bus. the emo soaked me like some impending doom that heartbreaking futbol losses only tormented and the beers barely soothed. i didn't want to go. i like how southeast is warm on a sunny day for you and i.

June 8, 2011

sometimes your smile makes me smile


i was sitting on the stoop smoking a fag and just wanted to smile, i needed to smile. so i thought of you and me. i thought of how cute you were as we left your place at midnight and you asked to hold my hand. i was giddy inside. neither of us stopped rambling as we stumbled down the sidewalk, holding hands like school kids. we needed fags and each other, it showed. i love your smile and your eyes when they talk with words to describe you life. listening to you, i am reminded of how good it feels to smile.

June 5, 2011

the wonderful gypsy sacrament


even after i showered
i could smell your musk on me
the gypsy musk of you
sensual and full of earth
experiences of and tragedy
with your luscious gypsy eyes
they pierce me
you are the queen
your scent on me
makes me smile
seeing you smile
listening to your stories
the way you tell me
a few key points over and over
always with that side ways look
a little smirk
for gorgeous eyes
a little look
then we chuckle
there is always humor
in the way your words phrase
their meaning
inhaling deep breaths of you in the night
that now lingers on me
hours after i left you hug
i see the early morning kisses
on your shoulder while you sleep
cuddled up on the couch
fully clothed
absolutely drunk

May 29, 2011

smiling my emo away


the sun is hiding
this early am
when there is enough
light to illuminate our way
i am waiting for you
to walk through the door
to kiss me softly
like so many sundays
we laid in bed
under white sheets
after spent skin
sipping delicious coffee
but this am
without the sun
your warm light
i am seeing shadows
in a grey filled light
hoping i can see
you again someday
smiling my emo away
my coffee is black
dark and
bitter
like a part of my soul
which longs for you
for your voice
to soothe me
your eyes to light me
your touch to satisfy me
i know love
i am selfish
for needing you
to help keep my emo
away
i know you need
me to win this fight
i am too tired to wage
i know i am alone
till you return again
if perchance
tomorrow never comes
the way we want it too
then this grey
haze in my dark coffee
comes with a side of emo
you served the day you left
only to exceed
the day i forget
i can love myself too