February 7, 2011

A Square's Guide to Being Punk


A Squares Guide to Being Punk is a series of stories and prose that highlight my love affair with The Portland Timbers, debauchery, strippers, whores and more drinking than anyone can even imagine. It is a blue print for how to be a drunk singing hooligan and an devotee to the beautiful game. Its the story of an artist and his many urban loves as it plays out in The Fresch Klesch's beloved Rose City. We follow the early days of the Timbers and the Timbers Army as they give rise to a cultural phenomenon that is as famous as the futbol. Follow the characters and find your self a passionate culture of alternative lifestyles and debaucherous hooliganism. Every thing a square needs to be a punk!

Chapter List:

mormons on bikes

april showers may flowers

a hipsters wet dream

day jobs are for suckers

first thursday thirsty thursday

lusciously fuckable

ain't no sunshine in hell

titties and kitties

want to get drunk and fuck

no emo shite

i give good head

slutty jesus

acapella anthems

viral gorilla art

fake emo sunshine


each chapter title page will have a photograph of a topless nude women wearing a Timbers scarf covering her breasts. Woven throughout the book of stories will be art and photographs highlighting the themes and art of the fresch klesch.


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